Rossum´s Universal Robots

  R. U. R.

  (Rossum´s Universal Robots)

  A PLAY IN INTRODUCTORY SCENE AND THREE ACTS

  by

  Karel Čapek

  Translated into English by David Wyllie.

  Original ePub version 1.0 by Dead^Man Nov, 2010; v1.5 update April, 2011.

  Mobi and LIT editions published simultaneously with April update.

  Cleaned up many errors. Embedded Times New Roman font (in ePub, larger file size) so the diacritics show properly. This should fix problems on readers that do not support full character sets. If the reader does not support embedded fonts, then you are SOL.

  Table of Contents

  Dramatis Personae

  Introductory Scene

  Act One

  Act Two

  Act Three

  About the Author

  Dramatis Personae

  Harry Domin Director General, Rossum’s Universal Robots

  Fabry Technical Director, R. U. R.

  Dr. Gall Head of Physiology and Research Department, R. U. R.

  Dr. Hallemeier Head of Institute for Robot Psychology and Behaviour, R. U. R

  Busman Commercial Director, R. U. R.

  Alquist Head of Construction, R. U. R.

  Helena Glory

  Nana Her Nanny

  Marius Robot

  Sulla Robot, female

  Radius Robot

  Damon Robot

  1. Robot

  2. Robot

  3. Robot

  4. Robot

  Primus Robot

  Helena Robot, female

  Robot servant

  and numerous robots

  Domin in introductory scene, about thirty-eight years old, tall, clean shaven

  Fabry also clean shaven, fair, serious and delicate features

  Dr. Gall light build, lively, dark complexion and black moustache

  Hallemeier heavy build, noisy, big ginger moustache and ginger shock of hair

  Busman fat, bald, short-sighted Jew

  Alquist older than the others, dressed without care, long grey hair and beard

  Helena very elegant

  in the play proper, all ten years older

  In the introductory scene, the robots are dressed like people. They are slightly mechanical in their speech and movements, blank of expression, fixed in their gaze. In the play proper they wear linen blouses seized at the waist with a belt and on their breasts wear a brass number

  Intervals after the introductory scene and the second act.

  Introductory Scene

  Central office at the factory of Rossum‘s Universal Robots. Entrance stage right. Through the windows can be seen endless rows of factory buildings. Stage left, further administrative areas.

  Domin (Sitting at a large American desk in a swivelling chair. On the table are a lamp, telephone, paperweight, files, letters, papers etc. On the wall, stage left, are large maps showing shipping lines and railway lines, large calendar, clock showing just before midday; on the wall stage right are printed posters: “The Cheapest Workforce You Can Get: Rossum’s Robots”, “Latest invention; Robots for the Tropics. 150 d. each”, “Everyone Should have a Robot!”, “Reduce the Cost of your Products! Order a Robot from Rossum’s!”. Also other maps, shipping timetable, notice board with telegrams, rates of exchange etc. In contrast with the content of the walls, the floor is covered with a magnificent Turkish carpet, stage right is as round armchair, settee, sumptuous leather armchair, bookshelves containing not books but bottles of wines and spirits. Stage left, safe. Beside Domin’s desk a typewriter at which Sulla is writing)

  Domin (dictating) “… cannot take responsibility for items damaged intransit. The captain of your vessel was given warning at time of loading that it was not suitable for the carriage of robots, and so damage to its cargo cannot be charged to our account. Yours faithfully, Rossum’s Universal Robots.” Is that it now?

  Sulla Yes

  Domin New letter. Friedrichswerke, Hamburg. Date. “We are pleased to confirm receipt of your order for fifteen thousand robots …” (telephone rings. Domin lifts receiver and speaks) Hello, central office … yes … certainly … oh yes, as always … of course, send him a telegram.. fine! (hangs up) Where were we?

  Sulla … your order for fifteen thousand robots.

  Domin (thoughtfully) fifteen thousand robots, fifteen thousand robots,

  Marius (enters) Mr. Domin, there is a lady outside who is asking …

  Domin Who is it?

  Marius I do not know. (gives him visiting card)

  Domin (reading) Mr. Glory, managing director of... Show him in!

  Marius (opens door) Please come in, madam.

  (enter Helena Glory. Exit Marius)

  Domin (standing) Do come in.

  Helena Mr. Domin, the managing director?

  Domin At your service

  Helena I’ve come to see you …

  Domin … with the visiting card of Mr. Glory-no more need be said.

  Helena Mr. Glory is my father. I’m Helena Glory.

  Domin Miss Glory, this is an exceptional honour for us that...

  Helena.. that you can’t just show me the door

  Domin... that we can welcome the daughter of an illustrious businessman like you father. Please take a seat. Sulla, you can go now (exit Sulla)

  Domin (sitting) How can I help you, Miss Glory?

  Helena I’ve come here...

  Domin.. to see our factory for making people for yourself. All our visitors want to see the factory. And of course you’re very welcome.

  Helena I thought it wasn’t allowed to...

  Domin... enter the factory? Well, of course it’s not, but everyone who comes here has a recommendation from somebody, Miss Glory.

  Helena And do you let everyone see it...?

  Domin Not all of it. Making artificial people is an industrial secret.

  Helena Why will you never let me finish what I say?

  Domin Oh, I’m sorry. Is that not what you were going to say?

  Helena I was going to ask....

  Domin... whether I might show you something in our factory that the others aren’t allowed to see. Well, I’m sure that’ll be OK, Miss Glory.

  Helena What makes you think that’s what I was going to ask?

  Domin Everyone asks for the same thing. (standing) I can personally show you more than the others are allowed to see.

  Helena Thank you.

  Domin All I ask is that you don’t say anything at all to anyone else.

  Helena (stands and offers her hand) Word of honour.

  Domin Thank you. Would you not like to take off your veil?

  Helena Oh, of course, you’ll be wanting to see my face. Do excuse me.

  Domin That’s alright.

  Helena And, if you would just let go of my hand...

  Domin (releases hand) I’m sorry, I forgot.

  Helena (removes veil) Do you want to make sure I’m not a spy. You seem very careful.

  Domin (looks at her, enchanted) Hm – oh, yes,-well – that’s just how we are.

  Helena Don’t you trust me?

  Domin Exceptionally. Miss, er, do excuse me Miss Glory. This really is an exceptional pleasure. Did you have a good crossing?

  Helena Yes. Why?

  Domin Because – well, that is – because you are very young.

  Helena Are we going into the factory now?

  Domin Yes. I suppose about twenty-two?

  Helena Twenty-two what?

  Domin Years.

  Helena Twenty-one. Why do you want to know that?

  Domin Because... sort of... (with enthusiasm) You will be staying here for sometime, won’t you.

  Helena That depends o
n how much you choose to show me.

  Domin Ah, the damned factory! But of course, Miss Glory, you can see everything. Do please sit down. Would you be interested in hearing the history of our invention?

  Helena Yes, I would. (sits)

  Domin Well this is what happened. (sits at desk, seems captivated by Helena and speaks quickly) It was in 1920 when old Rossum, still a young man then but a great scientist, came to live on this isolated island in order to study marine biology. Stop. Alongside his studies, he made several attempts to synthesise the chemical structure of living tissues, known as protoplasm, and he eventually discovered a material that behaved just the same as living tissue despite being, chemically, quite different. That was in 1932, exactly four hundred and forty years after the discovery of America.

  Helena Do you know all this by heart?

  Domin I do. Physiology really isn’t my subject. Shall I carry on?

  Helena If you like.

  Domin (triumphant) And then, Miss Glory, this is what he wrote down in his chemical notes: „Nature has found only one way of organising living matter. There is however another way which is simpler, easier to mould, and quicker to produce than Nature ever stumbled across. This other path along which life might have developed is what I have just discovered. “Just think: he wrote these words about a blob of some kind of coloidal jelly that not even a dog would eat. Imagine him sitting with a test tube and thinking about how it could grow out into an entire tree of life made of all the animals starting with a tiny coil of life and ending with... ending with man himself. Man made of different material than we are. Miss Glory, this was one of the great moments of history.

  Helena What happened next?

  Domin Next? Next he had to get this life out of the test tube and speed up its development so that it would create some of organs needed such as bone and nerves and all sorts of things and find materials such as catalysts and enzymes and hormones and so on and in short... are you understanding all of this?

  Helena I... I’m not sure. Perhaps not all of it.

  Domin I don’t understand any of it. It’s just that using this slime he could make whatever he wanted. He could have made a Medusa with the brain of Socrates or a worm fifty meters long. But old Rossum didn’t have a trace of humour about him, so he got it into his head to make a normal vertebrate, such as human being. And so that’s what he started doing.

  Helena What exactly was it he tried to do?

  Domin Imitating Nature. First he tried to make an artificial dog. It took him years and years, and the result was something like a malformed deer which died after a few days. I can show you it in the museum. And then he set to work making a human being.

  (Pause)

  Helena And that’s what I’m not allowed to tell anyone?

  Domin No-one whatsoever.

  Helena Pity it’s in all the papers then.

  Domin That is a pity. (jumps off desk and sits beside Helena) But do you know what’s not in all the papers? (taps his forehead) That old Rossum was completely mad. Seriously. But keep that to yourself. He was quite mad. He seriously wanted to make a human being.

  Helena Well that’s what you do, isn’t it?

  Domin Something like that, yes, but old Rossum meant it entirely literally. He wanted, in some scientific way, to take the place of God. He was a convinced materialist, and that’s why he wanted to do everything simply to prove that there was no God needed. That’s how he had had the idea of making a human being, just like you or me down to the smallest hair. Do you know anything about anatomy, Miss Glory?

  Helena Er, not really, no.

  Domin No, nor do I. But just think of how old Rossum got it into his head to make everything, every gland, every organ, just as they are in the human body. The Appendix. The tonsils. The belly-button. Even the things with no function and even, er, even the sexual organs.

  Helena But the sexual organs would, er, they’d...

  Domin They do have a function, I realise that. But if people are going to be made artificially then, er, then there’s not really much need for them.

  Helena I see what you mean.

  Domin In the museum I’ll show you the monstrosity he created over the ten years he was working. It was supposed to be a man, but it lived for a total of three days. Old Rossum had no taste what so ever. This thing is horrible, just horrible what he did. But on the inside it’s got all the things that a man’s supposed to have. Really! The detail of the work is quite amazing. And then Rossum’s nephew came out here. Now this man, Miss Glory, he was a genius. As soon as he saw what the old man was doing he said, ‘This is ridiculous, to spend ten years making a man; if you can’t do it quicker than Nature then you might as well give up on it’. And then he began to study anatomy himself.

  Helena That’s not what they say in the papers either.

  Domin (standing) What they say in the papers are paid advertisements and all sorts of nonsense. They say the old man invented the robots himself, for one thing. What the old man did might have been alright for a university but he had no idea at all about industrial production. He thought he’d be making real people, real Indians or real professors or real idiots. It was young Rossum who had the idea of making robots that would be a living and intelligent workforce. What they say in the papers about the two great men working together is just a fairy tale-in fact they never stopped arguing. The old atheist had no idea about industry and commerce, and the young man ended up shutting him up in his laboratory where he could play around with his great failures while he got on with the real job himself in a proper scientific way. Old Rossum literally cursed him. He carried on in his laboratory, producing two more physiological monstrosities, until one day they found him there dead. And that’s the whole story.

  Helena And then, what did the young one do?

  Domin Ah now, young Rossum; that was the start of a new age. After the age of research came the age of production. He took a good look at the human body and he saw straight away that it was much too complicated, any good engineer would design it much more simply. So he began to re-design the whole anatomy, seeing what he could leave out or simplify. In short, Miss Glory... I’m not boring you, am I?

  Helena No, quite the opposite, this is fascinating.

  Domin So young Rossum said to himself: Man is a being that does things such as feeling happiness, plays the violin, likes to go for a walk, and all sorts of other things which are simply not needed.

  Helena Oh, I see!

  Domin No, wait. Which are simply not needed for activities such as weaving or calculating. A petrol engine doesn’t have any ornaments or tassels on it, and making an artificial worker is just like making a petrol engine. The simpler you make production the better you make the product. What sort of worker do you think is the best?

  Helena The best sort of worker? I suppose one who is honest and dedicated.

  Domin No. The best sort of worker is the cheapest worker. The one that has the least needs. What young Rossum invented was a worker with the least needs possible. He had to make him simpler. He threw out everything that wasn’t of direct use in his work, that’s to say, he threw out the man and put in the robot. Miss Glory, robots are not people. They are mechanically much better than we are, they have an amazing ability to understand things, but they don’t have a soul. Young Rossum created something much more sophisticated than Nature ever did-technically at least!

  Helena They do say that man was created by God.

  Domin So much the worse for them. God had no idea about modern technology. Would you believe that young Rossum, when he was alive, was playing at God.

  Helena How was he doing that!

  Domin He started to make super-robots. Working giants. He tried to make them four meters tall-you wouldn’t believe how those monsters kept breaking up.

  Helena Breaking up?

  Domin Yes. All of a sudden, for no reason, a leg or an arm would break. This planet just seems too small for monsters like that. So now we just make them n
ormal size and normal proportions.

  Helena I saw my first robot in our village. They’d bought him so that.... that’s to say they’d employed him to...

  Domin Bought it, Miss Glory. Robots are bought and sold.

  Helena... they’d obtained him to work as a road sweeper. I watched him working. He was strange. So quiet.

  Domin Have you seen my typist?

  Helena I didn’t really notice her.

  Domin (rings) You know, RUR, Ltd. has never really make individual robots, but we do have some that are better than others. The best ones can last up to twenty years.

  Helena And then they die, do they?

  Domin Yes, they get worn out.

  (enter Sulla)

  Domin Sulla, let Miss Glory have a look at you.

  Helena (stands and offers her hand) Pleased to meet you. It must be very hard for you out here, cut off from the rest of the world.

  Sulla I do not know the rest of the world Miss Glory please sit down

  Helena (sits) Where are you from?

  Sulla From here, the factory

  Helena Oh, you were born here.

  Sulla Yes I was made here.

  Helena (startled) What?

  Domin (laughing) Sulla isn’t a person, Miss Glory, she’s a robot.

  Helena Oh, please forgive me...

  Domin (puts his hand on Sulla’s shoulder) Sulla doesn’t have feelings. You can examine her. Feel her face and see how we make the skin.

  Helena Oh, no, no!

  Domin It feels just the same as human skin. Sulla even has the sort of down on her face that you’d expect on a blonde. Perhaps her eyes are a bit small, but look at that hair. Turn around, Sulla.

  Helena Stop it!

  Domin Talk to our guest. We’re very honoured to have her here.

  Sulla Please sit down miss. (both sit) Did you have a good crossing.

  Helena Er, yes, yes, very good thank you.

  Sulla It will be better not to go back on the Amelia Miss Glory. The barometer is dropping fast, and has sunk to 705. Wait here for the Pennsylvania, that is a very good and very strong ship.

  Domin How big is it?

  Sulla It is twelve thousand tonnes and can travel at twenty knots.

  Domin (laughing) That’s enough now, Sulla, that’s enough. Show us how well you speak French.